3/9/12

Winter's Weeds

forest by night

With the cycling season
pines bow under winter's last snow,
white-haired crones, mourners lined up at the junction.

With the cycling season
ice-studded river dressed in black silk,
flanked by sequined shores, spectral mist infusion.

With the cycling season
gray-scale landscape inked on white canvas
awaits exchange--black crepe for spring pastel profusion.

Daffodil, Beckenham

I'm a greenling when it comes to the fine craft of poetry forms, but this is my crack at writing a kinda, sorta triolet for dVerse Poets and a Friday Flash 55 in one post. The last five words (not necessarily the last five words in the poem) were the hardest.

Image credit:forest by night by gyst on Flickr; Daffodil, Beckenham by dan taylor on Flickr

13 comments:

  1. smiles...i like your adjustments to the form...i like your anchor, but it it your end lines in each of the stanzas that nail it for me...nice nara

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  2. ah yes...we await the exchange...--black crepe for spring pastel profusion...i like..

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  3. Nara Malone...?
    The mind is a terrible thing to waste My Dear..:P
    This years weather is so fickle.
    Loved your snow bound 55
    Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

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  4. This kind of reminds me of a haiku in feel, nature and emotion interwoven, with some lovely imagery. You nail that unsettled feeling when things are changing but not quite ready to let go of the old for the new.

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  5. You have a lovely feeling of season here. I like the personification and imagery that you weave throughout beautifully.

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  6. Actually, a pretty good, kinda sorta triolet! It's definitely got the heart of it, with the repetition of the anchor phrase, and the beautiful lyricism.

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  7. I like the form, a repeating phrase, and love "white-haired crones, mourners lined up at the junction".

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  8. As Semaphore says ... you've got the heart of it ... it's lovely and lyrical and your imagery is spot on ... very nice

    http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.com/2012/03/grief-leaves-heart.html

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  9. Nara: Beautiful, flowing words. Comes naturally to you. D

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  10. Oh I wish the white canvas came at the right time of the year around here and not the day after I planted my blueberries. :P Great 55. Thanks for visiting mine. :)

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  11. Awww! The poor daffie getting a snow shower. I loved your triolet, Nara. I can't wait for some of that pastel spring profusion.

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  12. I like the repetition of the first line, goes so well with the 'cycling' and the 'pine bows (boughs) clever word play. This is a little gem!

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  13. So very pretty, and those photo's are just wonderful. I like the flower one...

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts.