nice...killer opening line...i love the night...the notes on the skin...nice...the black tears at the end blur the feelings a bit that i was feeling...though they are very visual...
Thanks so much for the feedback, Brian. I was going for blurry at that point, slipping into dreams, but I see what you mean that the heat is building and then just drops. I'll have to think on this one some more. Hard to squeeze a good progression into 55. Now 69...might be the place to take this next.
That is a sensuous piece! Very Visual
OHH WOOWWWW!I have just got to go and retrieve my socks from the cornor of the room!This is fantastic.I was already heading toward admiration but when i hit the penultimate line.... intrastimulation..... RIGHT THERE..... the rapture began!I will be back to re read this later with a glass of something red.A beauty.
Nara....What a positively Brilliant piece of work!Every image was so descriptive it defies commentI'm honored that you chose Friday 55 to post it for.Thank you from the bottom of my heart.Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End
This one has a haunting quality. - Alice
Such vivid and beautiful imagery. I loved this 55!
"Retro innocence." I love that!
Solitude scalding retro innocence.A very fine line..I read a very fine piece of work today.. :)I feel that silence of night enveloping me already..hugs xoxox
Hey, Mona. Thanks for dropping by.
Hey Tom! Thanks so much for all the encouragement. It helps knowing what I get right. I appreciate you taking time out to tell me.
Hey G! I love joining the 55's. It's nice doable bite of writing. I wish I could squeeze out time to get out to see and comment for everyone who writes one. I'm getting faster at the commenting, but it's murder keeping up on these flaky rural connections.
Thank you, talon. I am in awe of your talent.
Smile. I thinks it's that I write these things in the early early AM when the world feels haunted. Thanks for coming by Alice. I'm headed your way to read more good stuff at your blog.
Thanks, Mama Zen. I wrestled over putting that in, but I liked it so there it is.
Thanks, Olivia. I know I find plenty of fine reading over at your blog. I appreciate you taking time to encourage the poet in me.
Thank you for joining Poets United. We look forward to visiting your blog and reading poetry. We also look forward to seeing you in our community.Ink runs from the corners of my mouthThere is no happiness like mine.I have been eating poetry.~Mark Strand
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.