Blocks and Blues
You can see a punch coming from a long way off. You think you're tough enough to take it. You brace yourself. It knocks you flat.
I knew my Dad was dying before he went into hospice care. I was fighting to get the family to stop torturing him with medical procedures and let him die with some dignity. A couple of weeks ago I got my wish and they stopped all support. Those last few days of him clinging to life were hell. I wanted his suffering over and now it is.
So now that he's at peace, I should think I would have some peace. I don't. I was not prepared for how hard this hit me. I've lost perspective. I've lost my words. I'm so blocked I can't get through answering my email.
I'm trying to blog my way out of the blues today. Putting what has me blocked in words and images, getting this out of my head and onto a page might set me free to start moving forward again.
I miss my Dad. I'm really gonna miss his smile.